By His Side
by Lancelotlaureate
Summary: Philippe is not himself after returning from war, but the Chevalier is by his side, trying to make his world a little easier.


Philippe was already in bed when the Chevalier arrived. It had been the same the previous two nights. Ever since the war, Philippe had been tired and his bedroom a welcome refuge from the noisy chaos of court- a court which for now was vain and shallow, tedious and not worthy of his time and effort.

Looking at his love upon the bed, the Chevalier sighed. He was so beautiful as he lay atop the cover as though not a care in the world. But behind Philippe's closed and flickering eyelids he could sense a storm was stirring.

He climbed onto the bed and tried to be quiet and graceful as a swan as he shuffled closer to Philippe but inevitably he bounced like a child as he tried to get comfortable. His efforts not to wake the exhausted Monsieur were wasted, and Philippe's eyes sprung open as soon as he felt him move closer. Almost as though by instinct, he grabbed the Chevalier's throat and held on tightly.

The Chevalier, having been in the situation before, was stunned but not at all surprised. However, it still stung deeply whenever Philippe lashed out in the way he did, forcefully and without thinking.

"My love, it is I. I've returned to you for the night."

Philippe's intense and afraid eyes started at him and he finally let go of the Chevalier's throat, moving his trembling fingers away.

"May I stay beside you?" the Chevalier whispered.

Philippe gazed at him, deep into his eyes so that all he could see was the candlelight reflecting. Neither of them spoke for several moments and after a deep sigh, the Chevalier was the one to break the stare. Philippe still hadn't spoken to him.

The Chevalier forced a smile. "Well, fear not. If you feel like being silent, I will be silent with you. Two silent humans listening to the world."

There was a brief smirk from Philippe before his face became vacant again. The Chevalier nudged him gently. "Did I see a little smile just then? A small, tiny move of those pretty lips of yours?"

As much as Philippe's face tried to remain taut, he smiled again, causing the Chevalier to laugh.

"There it is again, I made you smile!"

Philippe shooed him away. "You did no such thing. I merely felt like smiling as I remembered a funny anecdote my brother mentioned."

"Your brother has little to no humour, so now I know you're lying."

"You're right, even I can't make that one work." He laughed which was like music to the Chevalier who longed to see his love happy once again.

Philippe leaned in close to him and slowly reached for his hand, firstly caressing his fingers and then bringing the hand up to his mouth to kiss. He kissed each finger at a time. "I'm glad you're here."

The Chevalier kissed the top of Philippe's nose. "And I shall remain here until I'm torn asunder. The world may be a loud and frightening place, mignonette, but inside this room it is only we two."

Philippe didn't respond, caught up in the Chevalier's words and even though he knew the Chevalier was sincere in his care, he also knew that he was alone, alone in his understanding and fears of things he couldn't tell, not even to his beloved.

"Would you like to try and go back to sleep, my love?" the Chevalier said.

"I shall like to lie here with you for a while."

"I'm glad you said that," the Chevalier began and then took a big breath as though he was ready to burst with a million words, "I have much to tell you. Today in the salon, you'd never believe what I overheard."

Philippe lay back on the pillow, eyes open widely and he sighed. "Please don't. Not that kind of talk."

The Chevalier rolled onto his side and took a strand of Philippe's hair between his fingers, twisting it. He wasn't sure how to respond. "Of course. But in case you hadn't noticed, there is little to discuss here. Besides, one must keep his eyes and ears open at all times."

"Yes," Philippe said, "but not his mouth."

The Chevalier sighed. "Very well, what shall we discuss? How pretty the flowers look?"

"I hadn't noticed them."

"You no longer notice beauty?"

Philippe hugged himself for comfort, looking away from his lover. "It's hard to separate it from the ugliness of war. I close my eyes to picture breath-taking sights and instead my mind is transported to the battle-field where I can see only the red of the blood, the brown of the mud, and the grey of the despairing sky."

The Chevalier held Philippe close to him, cradling him in his arms. He placed his hand upon Philippe's chest and felt his heart beating. He was still alive in there. "Well then I must make you picture pleasant things. I must make you new memories."

Philippe looked up at him. "Like what?"

The Chevalier kissed his forehead. "I shall read your fortune." He grabbed Philippe's hand and ran his fingers over his palm.

"What are you doing?" Philippe moved his hand but the Chevalier gripped it again.

"Uh, uh, uh, stay still so I can read your future."

"You don't know anything, or are you secretly practising witchcraft in your leisure time?"

"Sssh." He placed his finger on Philippe's lips and then focused back on his hand. He carefully studied the skin and raised his eyes upwards. "I see, I see."

"What do you see?" Philippe asked impatiently.

"I see a glorious war hero frolicking in the gardens of Versailles."

"And how do you see that, by looking out of the window?"

"No, one does not share his secrets of prophecy. I also see…money."

"Really, money? Who'd have guessed?"

"But most importantly I see a handsome, angel-faced man who adores you. He will give you great pleasures."

Philippe smirked. "And when am I going to meet him?"

The Chevalier gripped his hand tightly, digging his fingernails into the skin. "Then you die a slow painful death, the end." He folded his arms in protest.

"I'm sorry." Philippe touched the Chevalier's cheek. "Thank you for my fortune. It was in places predictable but you tell it with such conviction that I cannot fault it. Though I should avoid telling my brother you have turned to the dark side."

"Only the good side my love." There was a hesitancy in the Chevalier's voice and he turned around in the bed until he was lying flat on his back, looking up at the ceiling. "Do you feel any better?"

"Strangely, I do. That is at least until I close my eyes and I picture it all again. I cannot sleep."

"Well then I will stay with you until you can."


End file.
